Honestly...

My head is in so many places. There are boxes everywhere in my apartment. I have been packing and spackling and cleaning all day, and I feel like I didn't finish anything. I'm taking a break now to watch "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and to try to convince myself that a midori infused watermelon slushie will put me in a good mood.

I spilled a bottle of Kylie's hot pink nail polish on our beige carpet this afternoon because she didn't put the lid on tightly. I spent ten minutes on my knees with carpet cleaner and nail polish remover to no avail. I have determined that I will not be getting my deposit back. I should stop spackling, too. But I feel kind of accomplished when those holes in my walls disappear, even if only slightly.

I leave for vacation three weeks from Wednesday. The only thing that is helping me to retain my sanity is the idea of laying on the shore of Lake Michigan, baking in the sun and smelling like Hawaiian Tropic. And I get to see my grandparents. I miss them so much. I randomly find myself crying in my car because I worry that I won't see them again. Who needs therapy now?

On a happier note, there is clearly hope for me in the dating scene, as this bad boy was in my inbox. This is the reply that he sent me to a message that I wrote yesterday. And it's in all caps, which only adds to the wooing factor. Why do I continue to torment myself?

"I'LL JUST GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY.I ACCEPTED 100% DEBT IN THE DIVORCE TO KEEP MY HOME,BLAH,BLAH BLAH.I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT,MY HOME IS THE ONLY THING I'VE GOT LEFT DOWN HERE BESIDES MY JOB.THE OTHER REASON IS THAT SOMEDAY I MIGHT MEET SOMEONE THAT WOULD APPRECIATE A NICE HOME.THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS SUPPORTING MY DAUGHTER.IN A NUT SHELL ALL THIS IS WHY I HAVE TO WORK THE WAY I DO.WHICH I'M CONTENT WITH,JUST TIRED.ON THE UPSIDE.I DO HAVE MY WEEKENDS. I KNOW WHAT U MEAN .WHEN I HAVE JOSIE FOR THE WEEKEND.I GET WORN OUT CARING FOR HER THAN A 15 HR SHIFT.LITTLE BUGGERS HAVE ALOT OF ENERGY.I LIVE IN A CAPE CODE HOME.SHE LOVES FOR ME TO THROW THIS BIG BALL UP THE STEPS SO SHE CAN KICK IT BACK DOWN.AFTER ABOUT 30 MIN.I'M WORN OUT.FINNALLY COULDN'T THROW ANY MORE & SHE SAID.WHATS THE MATTER OLD MAN.I COULDN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT.LOL. I DRIVE TO CHARLOTTE WHEN I HAVE ENGINE SCHOOLS LIKE CUMMINS & CATAPILLAR & THEN IN THE EVENINGS GO TO WORK.I HAVE TO HAND IT TO U.WORK ALL DAY & THEN DRIVE HOME & TAKE CARE OF UR DAUGHTER.LONG DAYS. WALKERTOWN IS 10 MIN FROM WINSTON SALEM.NORTHEAST UP ROUTE 158.3 YEARS AGO I LOOKED AROUND 50 MILE AREA LOOKIN FOR A NEW HOME.I WAS NOT GOING TO LIVE 10FT FROM ANOTHER HOME.FOUND THIS ONE.I DIDN'T WANT A HOUSE PAYMENT & CONSTANTLY FIXING THINGS .WELL THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.TOOK A COUPLE YEARS TO GET IT THE WAY I LIKE IT.STILL BATTLING THE YARD.SO ARE U BUYING OR RENTING?DO U HAVE FAMILY HELPING U MOVE?GOT TO HELP MY BOSS MOVE HIS DAUGHTER BACK INTO HIS HOUSE SOMETIME NEXT MONTH.SHE'S ON THE 3RD FLOOR OF APARTMENT COMPLEX. WAS GOING TO START ON WASHING MY HOME TODAY & HAD TO GO BACK TO THE DOC AGAIN.POISON IVY.I HATE THIS STUFF.THE BAD PART OF IT ALL IS THE WEEKEND I CAUGHT IT.DIDN;T MOW THAT WEEKEND,GO FIGURE.WOW I'VE OVER DID IT.SORRY.BEEN BABBLIN.IF U NEED HELP MOVING.LET ME KNOW.TIME FOR DINNER.TALK TO U SOON."

Babblin' indeed.