Grrrrrrrr...

I am convinced that my life began to go all to hell the minute Oprah went off the air.

Today was supposed to be really great. I was all geared up to start packing my life up into the millions of cardboard boxes that have been hogging all of the space in my townhouse for the past few weeks. I promised Kylie that I would pick her up from school early, and we were going to head to our new city to get our house keys. Early in the afternoon, I had an appointment to have the AC recharged in my car, as it has only been blowing warm air during this 97 degree heat wave.

After I dropped Kylie off at school, I proceeded to clean out both of our closets and pack one box full of my jeans and hooker boots (labeled as such on the outside of the box). I was on a roll. Once Kylie and I hit Winston-Salem, I was sure that we would be in and out of the car repair shop within 45 minutes and have some free time to hit the mall for some house essentials before the scheduled time to get our house keys.

Not.

The car issue went from bad to worse. Instead of the $77 I expected to spend for an AC evaluation and recharge, I needed to replace a teeny tiny little tube that was going to up my bill by $40. Okay, whatever. If that's what it takes to get cool air in my sweet little Focus, so be it. An hour and a half later, the new part was in, but it turns out that my air compressor needs to be replaced. I guess I'm just going to be sweaty for awhile. To my surprise, the guy who had been working on my car walked outside with me as I was reeling from the shock of the $1300 I had been quoted for the repair. (He had been giving me the eye the entire time I had been sitting there, but I just attributed to the booby dress that I was wearing. I mean, who can blame me. It was all I could do not to melt during the drive there.) I was throwing the schedules that I had been writing into the passenger's seat, and he said, "Can I ask you a question?" Oh dear. Here it comes. He asked, "Would it be too forward if I gave you my number?" What do I say?! I wasn't really attracted to the guy, even though he was nice and everything. But I let him write it down on my receipt anyway because I didn't want to crush his heart, especially since he didn't charge me the extra $40 for the part that didn't actually fix my AC. He is probably sitting by his phone right now, waiting for me to text him, and here I am blogging about how I am not going to do it. Maybe that's what I'm doing all wrong. Maybe instead of waiting for lightning to strike and believing in love at first sight, I should just go out with anyone and everyone who asks me. Last night, I watched the movie "Someone Like You" that stars Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman. It is one of those that I have seen a million times, and yet I never tire of it. Marisa Tomei's character proclaims in one scene that she has figured it all out. She says, "Truth is, all we really need to do is adjust our radar a bit. Learn to be attracted to men that we're simply not attracted to." Is that it? I think I'm just too snotty and stuck up to find a boyfriend. I should simply accept it.

After all of this, K and I trekked over to the new house, slightly defeated from the car disappointment. I was hot, tired, and annoyed, but I needed to measure some of the rooms to decide how my furniture was going to fit. Time is winding down; we move in a week and a half. After walking the house for a few minutes, K and I were left on our own to look around and lock up. K asked me if she could use the bathroom, so I checked to make sure that the toilet flushed before she got down to business. Yup, it was good, so my child proceeded to take a great big poo in there, only to find that it wouldn't flush again. Oh no. How to fix this? I couldn't leave it! It would fester and become stinky. But I couldn't get it to flush! I called every guy I know, including Rat Bastard, before I dialed my mom. My step-dad (who just came home from a four day stint in the hospital) answered the phone to my poop panic, and he walked me through every possible suggestion. Finally, he advised me to go outside to check the breakers, as I had been assured that the water had been turned on in the house. While standing outside in the grass, analyzing all of the little switches, I failed to realize that I was standing on a giant mound of ants. In fact, by the time I noticed them, I was covered in them. What to do?! Stop, drop, and roll? I was freaking out, swatting them off while I simultaneously began to itch everywhere. I'm pretty sure there were still some in my hair by the time I got home a couple of hours later. And at the moment, the poo still wouldn't flush. We eventually had to go to the store and buy a couple of gallons of water to pour into the tank to flush it. Who knew you could do that? By the time we were finished, I didn't want to measure anything. However, I stuck it out and measured the rooms, only to discover that my sofa and my dining room table are too big to fit where I want them. Crap. Now what?

Today certainly did not play out the way I wanted it to. I'm stressed out of my mind with worrying about this move, and now I get to add car repairs to the list. It looks like I may have to cancel the vacation I have planned for the end of June because there is just too much to do. I'm not ruling it out yet, but it isn't looking good. What a bummer. I am in dire need of some away time right now. Maybe I could vacation on another planet instead?