What Matters Most

I am running around in circles. There is so much on my to-do list, and instead of completing things, I add more and more and more to it. I am not accomplishing anything.

I am stressing about this move. It is approximately six weeks away, which seems like a long time and not much time all at once. I am worried about registering Kylie for camp at the YMCA. I am worried about transferring her to another school. The school that is closest to our house is super awful, and I thought that I had really done my homework on that one. I visited the school a week or so ago, and the receptionist was on the phone with someone that I took to be her boyfriend. The conversation on her side went something like, "Boy, you stupid! No, YOU stupid! " Needless to say, I was not impressed.

I took Kylie to an opthamologist today and learned that she may need to have eye surgery. She has a condition called exotropia, which means that she has somewhat of a wandering eye. It can be corrected with this surgery that rearranges the muscles in the eye. I was expecting to go to this specialist and hear a definite "yes" or "no" on the surgery, but what I got was, "Well, let me know if you think she needs it." What? I don't know if she needs it. I don't know what is best for her in this case. I am not the expert. This isn't impairing her vision, but at the same time, if it continues, then there is the potential that she may be made fun of in school. I dealt with that when I was a kid, and it sucked beyond explanation.

Speaking of being made fun of, I apparently had an allergic reaction to a new facial moisturizer. You know...the kind of moisturizer that you slather all over your face with the intent of making it moist. Yeah. My face has broken out in this crazy red rash that is not pretty in any sense of the word. I told my mom that this is my payback for being so vain. I never pass a mirror without looking in it. Usually, I am pretty content with what stares back at me. Right now, I can't even wear makeup. I wish wearing a bag over my face was in my company dress code. This is what I get. Karma. Damn karma.

Overall, I am just looking to survive the next six weeks. I want this move to go as smoothly as possible. I think a big part of my stress is knowing that I am going to something completely new and unknown. On the good side, I have a job that I am already settled into. I haven't made a move this big since I was 20 and moved to Charlotte in an attempt to find happiness. I found a lot of things here, but I'm not sure that happy was one of them. When I leave this place, I will take with me the only thing that really matters, my sweet little girl. Everything else can stay here; they weren't important enough to hold on to anyway.