Nuggets

(Thanks for the title, Brea. I love you!)

This has been an odd week. My munchkin is spending spring break with Rat Bastard, and therefore, I don't really know what to do with myself. There are bits and pieces of any given day where I imagine having time to myself, where I am not responsible for packing lunches, brushing teeth that aren't my own, and convincing someone other than myself that it's a great idea to get out of bed. I daydream about not sharing the computer or the TV. I fantasize about only cleaning up my own messes. I imagine rushing off to hot dates without worrying about finding a babysitter.

I have a very active imagination.

In reality, I find myself coming up with reasons to work late just so I don't have to come home alone. Rather than rushing out of my store at 5pm to pick my munchkin up by 6, I linger around for an extra twenty or thirty minutes. Watching American Idol isn't as much fun when I don't have someone to choose favorites with. I have been eating dinner directly out of cans. What happened to my plans for relaxing in long, luxurious bubble baths with candles? My life is boring without Kylie. Friday night cannot come fast enough.

I had a touch of excitement on Monday of this week. A guy that I went out with a couple of times about a year ago suggested that we get together. We are still Facebook friends, although we don't talk regularly by any means. Over the past few months, we have gotten our kids together to play and talked sporadically on the phone. Occasionally, he would ask me when I was going to invite him to my place (as we always went to his), but when I would suggest a time, he would drop off the earth. Typical douchebag. So when the invite popped up at the beginning of the week, I was skeptical, but I still took the bait. After all, my peanut is away for the week, so I am supposed to take chances, right? Ugh. Wrong. I was bored out of my skull. I expected that this would be a good time for some adult conversation, but instead, he blabbered about his work for 90 minutes. I spent the majority of my time watching him peck away on his computer while he finished some paperwork. I found myself attempting to hide my yawns, and then just giving up. It was easier to find a reason for a quick exit when I appeared exhausted. I sent my assistant text messages begging her to rescue me. I just wanted to be at home, snuggled up with a blankie on my couch, muttering to the hampsters. They're such good listeners. The night could not end fast enough.

And now for my good news. My big news. The thing that I have been afraid to talk about, think about, blog about, in fear that I would jinx it. Are you ready?



This is my new pad. We move mid-June. No more hour commutes. No more rush hour traffic on Friday afternoons. No more spending $320 each month in gas just to get to work. I am indescribably ecstatic. We will have a backyard, and hardwood floors, and normal-looking neighbors. I am going to be seven minutes from work.

It finally feels as though the pieces from the past three years are falling into place. I have been clinging to these little nuggets of hope, praying that I would find the place where I belonged. I have felt a gentle steering of my decisions into directions that I might not otherwise have chosen, all the while thinking about the end result. Doors opened, prayers were answered, and I have achieved exactly what I set out to do. Who knew that I would find exactly what I was looking for on the end of a quiet little street?

I can't even put all of this into words. June cannot come fast enough.