Licensed to Drive

Every now and then, I have one of those days where I manage to WOW myself. Not really because I have done something so incredibly awesome that others would be impressed with me, but moreso because I have somehow managed to do anything worthwhile at all.

I took today off to go finagle with the DMV. It's license renewal time, as the current one expires in two days (on my 30th birthday!!). The thought of going in there has terrified me for years. In fact, as soon as I renew a license and get a glimpse of the expiration date (5 or 8 years in the future), I start to dread it. It brings on a cold sweat like I can't even describe. There is just so much that is involved in it. This visit required taking the sign/vision test, changing my name (from my divorce almost two years ago), and changing my address (from the move over three years ago). I just knew that I would get arrested for not completing these in a timely manner.

On the way there, I drove extra carefully. I paid attention to road signs and practiced naming them in an attempt to quiz myself. Who knew there were so many road signs?! I've never really noticed them before! In the parking lot, I backed into my parking space in an attempt to prove that I, too, am a great driver. This is despite the fact that in 14 years of driving, I have never successfully parallel parked, and I am terrified to pass other cars on a two way highway, even if there is no oncoming traffic. I was really nervous about the sign test. As I waited, I studied them over and over. Everyone that I talked to about the sign test warned me about the railroad sign. How hard could it be to miss that one? There is a big black "X" in the middle after all!

I marched into the office with the printouts from the DMV website showing the regulatory and warning signs. I also had my social security card, divorce decree, power bill (for the address), and a novel. I was prepared for the wait. Good thing I was ready, as the computer system that they use for the photos was not working properly, and each photo took about ten minutes to complete. I looked around the room and wondered if anyone else had spent as much time on their hair as I had that morning. I have lived with an ugly driver's license photo for the past five years. I'm not going through that again.

I only waited for an hour and forty minutes. Ironically, my ticket number was "30," which I took as a good omen. And I passed the test with only one miss. Any guess on which one I got wrong?