Posts
Today, I feel like this:
Hopefully, tomorrow I will feel like this:
Ugh.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Carrie Meets Scary Guy
Through my entire life, I have had this unbelievable ability to find the scariest, creepiest men on the planet and draw them to me. It's a gift. A gift that is equivalent to finding a wrapped package of chicken livers under the Christmas tree with my name on it (in big, bold letters, no less). Some of my friends have told me that these people want to talk to me because I have such an inviting personality. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I'm always so conscious of making everyone feel special. I really wish that I could just be one of those girls who didn't give a rat's ass about other people's thoughts and feelings. Nope. Instead, I apparently give off some sort of "I'm friendly" pheremone that attracts the losers and weirdos. I'm such a lucky girl.
On my morning off last week, I decided to go for a run on the greenway near my house. I parked my car at the YMCA where Kylie goes to summer camp and made my way through a smaller park that connects to the larger one with the running path. I was in heaven. The weather was great, and my I-pod was playing happy songs. I got about halfway through the big park when I saw him. At first, he didn't seem all that creepy. He was a decent looking, football-player sized guy, wearing workout clothes and running shoes, standing off the side of the trail. By this time, I was out of breath and had slowed down to a walk. He appeared to be laughing at my panting, and as I passed him, I said, "Not fair for you to laugh at me!" This was not meant to be an invitation for anything, but that's not how he took it. The next thing I knew, he was jogging right alongside of me. Immediately, my first thought was that I was going to have to make small talk with this guy until I could manage to lose him. The reason I love running so much is that I can do it by myself. I really hate the majority of people, and running allows me to avoid going to a gym where I would actually have to socialize with other people. He wanted to know where I was from, what I did for a living, if I was married. I hate that question. If I say "no," the creepy guys always assume that I'm fair game. I responded with, "No, but I have a boyfriend." (Okay, yeah, not so much anymore, but what else was I going to say?) I was absolutely not expecting his response. He said, "That's all right baby. I can just be your thing on the side. You know, you call me up when your boyfriend isn't there, and I'll come over. We can keep it on the hush."
WTF? Did he really say that to me? How did I become such a winner-magnet?
I was clearly uncomfortable at this point, but I was also kind of stuck. I just wanted to run, alone. I still thought that he might just go away if I blew him off. I made some comment about how that wasn't really my thing, and for the moment, it seemed to appease him. We kept making our way through the park, alternating between running and walking. He told me about his job as a medical technician at the hospital nearby; he said he was on vacation at the time and was trying to squeeze in some exercise on his downtime. He suggested that we meet a few times a week to work out together. I told him that I really don't have a set schedule as far as running, which would make that impossible. He asked me specifically where I lived and where I worked, but I wouldn't tell him. This entire time, I was looking around and watching for other runners. Usually, this park is slammed with people, especially on such a gorgeous day. No such luck. And this dude was giving me the willies. Every episode of Dateline and 20/20 that I had ever seen about some stupid girl who ends up in the woods with a complete stranger was running through my mind. I knew I couldn't outrun him if necessary, and he was making me really uncomfortable. He was moving closer to me on the trail, and I was running out of room. I don't know...I can't really describe it, but I wasn't getting a good vibe. I was praying that if something should happen to me, someone from the park would remember seeing the blonde girl with the pink tank top running with the big guy. Would it be possible for me to poke his eyes out with my car keys? Could I dial 911 on my BB in time? That's freaky shit.
We reached the end of the greenway and turned around to make our way back. He asked me what I was doing after my run, and I told him that I had to go to work. Then he asked if I would let him come over to my place. Jesus. Really? I told him "no way" and thought he'd drop it. Silly me. I could tell he was staring at me, and then he pulled out the SUPER CREEP card. He said, "Do you shave down there?" WHAT?! I told him I was not telling him that. Not to be shut down, he asked, "You like it in the ass?" Holy freakin' f**k, I was going to die. This weirdo was going to drag me into the trees and kill me. We were approaching the main highway, and I just took off in a run again. He, of course, followed.
My adrenaline was pumping so much, and I was so terrified of the situation and of him. At one point, he asked me if he could walk me back to my car. I said "no" and was extremely grateful for the fact that I had parked at the YMCA instead of in the parking lot at the park. At least I could go into the YMCA and stay there until he went away. I didn't want this guy knowing what I drive or, worse yet, following me home and knowing where I live. He told me that he had parked over at the park's main entrance, so he went the opposite way. Finally I had lost him. I ran back to my car faster than ever, stopping before I reached it to make sure he was nowhere to be found. I breathed a sigh of relief to be safe.
I told everyone about the Scary Guy. My dad told me he was buying me a can of pepper spray. My friend, Jeremy, offered his .38. Sean told me to never go back to the park again. Another friend said, "Don't worry about it. What are the odds that you will see him again?"
I thought that was the end of the story, but no such luck. I have avoided the park like the plague for the past few days, choosing instead to run downtown, thankful for the public atmosphere. Today, however, I had the morning off. I thought to myself that he was at work since he had given me his schedule (which was probably completely made up). Once again, I parked at the YMCA and went through both parks, looking over my shoulder the entire time. When I reached the end of the greenway, I decided to avoid running back through the park, and I trekked along the highway on the sidewalk instead. As I crossed back through the smaller park and made my way into the YMCA parking lot, I looked up and saw him. He saw me, too, and he started to say something, and I took off toward the main building. I was not having this. I waited for a few minutes until I was convinced that he was gone before leaving.
Did I mention how pissed I am? Dammit. That bastard is back, and he is taking over MY running spot. I don't even feel safe going there now. And the fact that he parked at the YMCA this time is extra creepy. Why can't weirdos stay at home and watch porn on the internet? Why do they have to come out in public and find ME?! ME! I want to be left the hell alone! Now I need a new spot. Or a disguise. Would it be weird to run with a paper bag over my head?
On my morning off last week, I decided to go for a run on the greenway near my house. I parked my car at the YMCA where Kylie goes to summer camp and made my way through a smaller park that connects to the larger one with the running path. I was in heaven. The weather was great, and my I-pod was playing happy songs. I got about halfway through the big park when I saw him. At first, he didn't seem all that creepy. He was a decent looking, football-player sized guy, wearing workout clothes and running shoes, standing off the side of the trail. By this time, I was out of breath and had slowed down to a walk. He appeared to be laughing at my panting, and as I passed him, I said, "Not fair for you to laugh at me!" This was not meant to be an invitation for anything, but that's not how he took it. The next thing I knew, he was jogging right alongside of me. Immediately, my first thought was that I was going to have to make small talk with this guy until I could manage to lose him. The reason I love running so much is that I can do it by myself. I really hate the majority of people, and running allows me to avoid going to a gym where I would actually have to socialize with other people. He wanted to know where I was from, what I did for a living, if I was married. I hate that question. If I say "no," the creepy guys always assume that I'm fair game. I responded with, "No, but I have a boyfriend." (Okay, yeah, not so much anymore, but what else was I going to say?) I was absolutely not expecting his response. He said, "That's all right baby. I can just be your thing on the side. You know, you call me up when your boyfriend isn't there, and I'll come over. We can keep it on the hush."
WTF? Did he really say that to me? How did I become such a winner-magnet?
I was clearly uncomfortable at this point, but I was also kind of stuck. I just wanted to run, alone. I still thought that he might just go away if I blew him off. I made some comment about how that wasn't really my thing, and for the moment, it seemed to appease him. We kept making our way through the park, alternating between running and walking. He told me about his job as a medical technician at the hospital nearby; he said he was on vacation at the time and was trying to squeeze in some exercise on his downtime. He suggested that we meet a few times a week to work out together. I told him that I really don't have a set schedule as far as running, which would make that impossible. He asked me specifically where I lived and where I worked, but I wouldn't tell him. This entire time, I was looking around and watching for other runners. Usually, this park is slammed with people, especially on such a gorgeous day. No such luck. And this dude was giving me the willies. Every episode of Dateline and 20/20 that I had ever seen about some stupid girl who ends up in the woods with a complete stranger was running through my mind. I knew I couldn't outrun him if necessary, and he was making me really uncomfortable. He was moving closer to me on the trail, and I was running out of room. I don't know...I can't really describe it, but I wasn't getting a good vibe. I was praying that if something should happen to me, someone from the park would remember seeing the blonde girl with the pink tank top running with the big guy. Would it be possible for me to poke his eyes out with my car keys? Could I dial 911 on my BB in time? That's freaky shit.
We reached the end of the greenway and turned around to make our way back. He asked me what I was doing after my run, and I told him that I had to go to work. Then he asked if I would let him come over to my place. Jesus. Really? I told him "no way" and thought he'd drop it. Silly me. I could tell he was staring at me, and then he pulled out the SUPER CREEP card. He said, "Do you shave down there?" WHAT?! I told him I was not telling him that. Not to be shut down, he asked, "You like it in the ass?" Holy freakin' f**k, I was going to die. This weirdo was going to drag me into the trees and kill me. We were approaching the main highway, and I just took off in a run again. He, of course, followed.
My adrenaline was pumping so much, and I was so terrified of the situation and of him. At one point, he asked me if he could walk me back to my car. I said "no" and was extremely grateful for the fact that I had parked at the YMCA instead of in the parking lot at the park. At least I could go into the YMCA and stay there until he went away. I didn't want this guy knowing what I drive or, worse yet, following me home and knowing where I live. He told me that he had parked over at the park's main entrance, so he went the opposite way. Finally I had lost him. I ran back to my car faster than ever, stopping before I reached it to make sure he was nowhere to be found. I breathed a sigh of relief to be safe.
I told everyone about the Scary Guy. My dad told me he was buying me a can of pepper spray. My friend, Jeremy, offered his .38. Sean told me to never go back to the park again. Another friend said, "Don't worry about it. What are the odds that you will see him again?"
I thought that was the end of the story, but no such luck. I have avoided the park like the plague for the past few days, choosing instead to run downtown, thankful for the public atmosphere. Today, however, I had the morning off. I thought to myself that he was at work since he had given me his schedule (which was probably completely made up). Once again, I parked at the YMCA and went through both parks, looking over my shoulder the entire time. When I reached the end of the greenway, I decided to avoid running back through the park, and I trekked along the highway on the sidewalk instead. As I crossed back through the smaller park and made my way into the YMCA parking lot, I looked up and saw him. He saw me, too, and he started to say something, and I took off toward the main building. I was not having this. I waited for a few minutes until I was convinced that he was gone before leaving.
Did I mention how pissed I am? Dammit. That bastard is back, and he is taking over MY running spot. I don't even feel safe going there now. And the fact that he parked at the YMCA this time is extra creepy. Why can't weirdos stay at home and watch porn on the internet? Why do they have to come out in public and find ME?! ME! I want to be left the hell alone! Now I need a new spot. Or a disguise. Would it be weird to run with a paper bag over my head?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
J-E-L-L-O!
I love that during my morning pilates workout on my Exercise TV channel, an ad for Jello popped up randomly at the bottom of my television screen. It said, "Jello: So Jiggly, So Giggly, So Fun!" It's just the motivation I need to keep trying to tone my ass.
That's all...
That's all...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Today I...
...deleted all of the voicemails that you-know-who left me.
...erased zillions of text messages (also from you-know-who).
...refused to call him, and contemplated having my seven-year-old hide my phone from me to ensure that it didn't happen.
I feel like dog crap, even though I'm trying not to. The strangest thing is going from talking to someone three or four times a day to nothing. Zilch. My phone has never been more quiet. I hate it. Talk about hitting a wall. With no explanation. Ugh. I feel like such a fool. That's the worst part. I teased myself with a little bit of happy, and then got slapped in the face with the silliness of it all.
You know what I don't get? I have a LOT going for me! I have a great job, I'm self-sufficient, and I have fantastic hair. And at the end of the day, I don't think there is a man out there who is MAN-enough for me. That's it. End of story.
God, this is about so much more than the effing boyfriend. Why can't shit be easy?
Dammit, I'm out of kleenex.
...erased zillions of text messages (also from you-know-who).
...refused to call him, and contemplated having my seven-year-old hide my phone from me to ensure that it didn't happen.
I feel like dog crap, even though I'm trying not to. The strangest thing is going from talking to someone three or four times a day to nothing. Zilch. My phone has never been more quiet. I hate it. Talk about hitting a wall. With no explanation. Ugh. I feel like such a fool. That's the worst part. I teased myself with a little bit of happy, and then got slapped in the face with the silliness of it all.
You know what I don't get? I have a LOT going for me! I have a great job, I'm self-sufficient, and I have fantastic hair. And at the end of the day, I don't think there is a man out there who is MAN-enough for me. That's it. End of story.
God, this is about so much more than the effing boyfriend. Why can't shit be easy?
Dammit, I'm out of kleenex.
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